I almost forgot. March 29 marked my first year as a person living with HIV. Though I still lack my second CD4 count, I am still thankful for surviving a year without co-infections or a need for hospitalization (and I am still not required to take ARVs as my initial CD4 count last June 2012 was 518).

I thank you Lord for giving me another chance in life. Last year was bittersweet, but I gradually realized its essence. Extend my life, Lord, as I still have tasks to accomplish for my family.

I apologize for my faults to some people, and I thank you for the friends I met along the way. :-)

Maalaala Mo Kaya (Would You Remember) is the longest-running drama anthology series in Philippine television. It has been on air since 1991. The show accepts stories from letter senders, and picks exceptional ones to present in TV format. To mark World AIDS Day, their episode this December 1 was entitled Pulang Laso (Red Ribbon).

It is quite rare for a TV station in a conservative country like ours to present a story involving a sensitive topic such as HIV/AIDS.

The TV episode elicited various reaction from people on social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook. While some commended the daring move of the TV network to raise awareness regarding HIV through the drama series, others remarked about it harshly.

The HIV community also weighed in. One person said that the show should have focused on Allan (Joem Bascon) as an HIV advocate, rather than spending too much air time on the love story. Another one criticized that Kevin (Carlo Aquino) shouldn't have died, and the episode should reflect that HIV/AIDS doesn't immediately equate to death. Another viewer said that there was a lot lacking, like the absence of pre and post counseling on the HIV test, as well as the absence of treatment and interventions for Kevin. Sadly, one HIV+ viewer dismissed the episode as trash and said that the show should have produced a story with another topic.

Harsh remarks, I should say, particularly coming from fellow HIV+ people. Personally, I found the episode great in that both homosexual relationship and HIV/AIDS are not often discussed on Philippine television. With a platform such as Maalaala Mo Kaya, the episode has reached out to millions of loyal Filipino viewers in the country and abroad.

People should be aware that TV has its limitations in presenting a complex story, as air time is usually just a little over an hour. Filipinos love melodramas and tearjerkers, but this one still attempted to educate viewers by subtlety inserting information about the signs and symptoms of HIV, the importance of being faithful to one's partner, the need for safe sex and regular HIV tests, and more importantly, it gave the viewers hope that despite having the disease, people living with HIV can still have normal and productive lives.

Overall, the show raised the level of awareness of the Filipino people with regards to HIV and AIDS. The show trended over Twitter. Links to the episode have been posted on Facebook. A lot of people were talking about it. And for me, this is a good sign. When people start to talk, they will eventually seek out information. One HIV counselor even said that he assisted several patients in getting HIV tests, and they confessed to him that they did so after watching Maalaala Mo Kaya's World AIDS Day episode.

As for the others who bash about the episode, I believe that they should start writing their own personal stories for TV airing next year. I am just so disappointed with some of the responses of other HIV+; they can be brutally arrogant like there's some sort of a contest or search for the best HIV+ person in the country. Please, it's World AIDS Day. Let's unite instead.

To read the complete article, please click HERE.

This is my third article with PositiveLite.com, Canada's online HIV magazine. Visit their site by clicking HERE for valuable stories, news, and other information about HIV and people living with it. 

First article: Meet Pinoy Positive

Second article: Suicidal Thoughts

Third article: MMK Reflections

Thank you PositiveLite.com for giving me the opportunity to thank ABS-CBN TV network, the show Maalaala Mo Kaya, director Nuel Naval (@directfromncn), the main actors Carlo Aquino (@carloaquino11) and Joem Bascon, the writer, and to all those were part in the creation of the Pulang Laso episode.

Thank you for making World AIDS Day more meaningful.

MANILA, Philippines - Former Department of Health (DOH) secretary Alberto Romualdez has blamed the Arroyo administration for the rise of human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) cases in the country.

Romualdez said the previous administration's alleged obedience to the Catholic Church's dictates to stop the distribution of free condoms had resulted in the sharp increase in the number of Filipinos who had contracted the dreaded disease. 

Romualdez, DOH chief during the Estrada administration, recalled that it was in 1997 when the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) informed the Philippine government of its plan to phase out donations of reproductive health (RH) supplies, including condoms, to developing countries. 

“But USAID gave us a timetable.  And the DOH said, ‘it was okay, we'll start...our own procurement so that supplies would not run out’,” Romualdez told Senate reporters on Monday after forum on HIV/AIDS initiated by Sen. Pilar Juliana "Pia' Cayetano.  

“Unfortunately, we changed leadership in 2001 and the new (administration) under the influence of the Church put an embargo on the procurement of (reproductive health) supplies by the national government,” added Romualdez. 

According to the former DOH chief, it was during the phase-out of the USAID donation from 2001 to 2006 that the incidence of HIV rose steeply. However, he said the Arroyo administration had refused to procure condoms for HIV prevention. 

Romuladez said the DOH at the time had to rely on a separate donation from the United Nations Population Fund, “which was a smaller (volume) compared to what the need (was).” 

“That’s the connection. It was in 2001 when the procurement stopped, so the government was not able to (replenish) the products that were being phased-out by USAID and other donors. In 2006, when the supplies finally ran out, the incidence of HIV began to climb,” he said.  

“The purchase order (for condoms) was disapproved. It was stopped because of pressures from the Church. An embargo (was imposed) on all kinds of RH supplies,” added Romualdez.

Former Health Secretary Alberto Romualdez

Romualdez stood up at one point during the Senate forum and noted from the Power Point presentation made by DOH Assistant Secretary Dr. Eric Tayag, head of the National Epidemiology Center (NEC), that the incidence of HIV infection shot up in 2006 when the supplies of condom were running out. 

Figures from the NEC showed that from 1997 to 2001, HIV incidence in the Philippines was less than 1,000 cases a year. 

During the early years of the Arroyo administration, Tayag showed a graph indicating that from 2002 to 2006, the annual incidence increased to more than 1,000 and finally increased by 668 percent from 2007 to 2012. 

Former President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo

Tayag’s presentation also showed that from one new case of HIV every three days in 2000, the DOH recorded one new case a day in 2007. 

In 2010, the department recorded four new cases a day that later increased to seven new cases after a year. 

At present, the DOH lists nine new cases a day of HIV infection, most of which occur in men who engage in sex with other men (MSM).

Romualdez said it was in 2006 when the annual increase rose to 26 percent from only 18 percent in 2005 and 17 percent in 2004. 

“As you can see from the graph, we were low and slow on HIV infection until 2006,” said Romualdez. 

The ex-DOH head said the department during the Estrada administration distributed condoms for free in areas with populations known to engage in MSM and other “risky sexual behaviour.” 

Tayag’s report also included the following:

• Over the last decade, the number of Filipinos infected with HIV has risen by more than 25 percent;

• The Philippines is now among the countries where new HIV/AIDS infections have increased by 25 percent in the last decade including Bangladesh, Georgia, Guinea-Bissau, Indonesia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Moldova and Sri Lanka according to the 2012 Global Report of the United Nations Program on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS);

• The situation in the Philippines is the reverse of “trends in many low- and 2012 middle-income countries… able to reduce the rate of HIV infections by more than 50 percent from 2001 to 2011"; 

• The age bracket between 15-24 years old is the fastest growing group in terms of HIV infection and

• In MSM cases, the NEC reported that 45 percent of those who were infected with HIV said condoms were “not available” at the time of infection; 27 percent said they did not like to use condoms, 11 percent said their partner objected; 11 percent thought condom use was “not necessary”; three percent “forgot” to use condoms: another three percent said they did not know how to use condoms while one percent said condoms are “too expensive.” 

Teresita Marie Bagasao, country coordinator of UNAIDS, urged senators to pass the RH bill, saying its education component would help young people understand human sexuality from a more scientific point of view.

Cayetano, principal sponsor of the RH measure, lamented that anti-RH proponents were bent to block its passage without consideration of the health repercussions that might result from inadequate information on human sexuality.

“They are testing my patience severely whenever I have to explain the RH bill. Education in general empowers the people and does not make them sex maniacs,” she said during the forum. 

Senator Pia Cayetano

Source: Karl John C. Reyes, interaksyon.com (December 3, 2012)

*Please read the post of Mr. Naval's sister at the end of this article. Thank you.

Rodel Naval --- the handsome and enigmatic singer behind the hit ballads “Muli” and “Lumayo Ka Man” --- succumbed to AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome) 17 years ago, two of his siblings revealed on Saturday.

The singer’s sudden and mysterious death in Toronto, Canada on June 11, 1995 at age 42 was officially ascribed to pneumonia, but rumors soon reached Manila that he had in fact died of complications from AIDS.

His sisters Rosalie and Delia acknowledged the rumor as fact in an interview with Cristy Fermin on “Ang Latest” on Saturday, ahead of the release of a new commemorative album of Rodel’s best-known songs.

Delia said Rodel had confessed to his family in Toronto that he was HIV-positive in 1993, two years before his death. “Kalmado niya kaming kinausap. Sabi niya meron nga siyang sakit na genital,” she said.

Rosalie said their brother faced his inevitable death peacefully. “Kalmado siya kasi bumalik siya sa Diyos, at binigyan siya ng forgiveness and peace,” she said.

Despite his illness, Rodel managed a one-year stint with the cast of the Toronto production of “Miss Saigon” in 1994. He also performed two concerts in April of that year, one in Toronto and another in Los Angeles.

According to his official website, Rodel had begun his showbiz career in 1975 as an actor. But he left in 1979 when he felt his career wasn’t going anywhere and joined his immigrant family in Canada.

When he returned to the Philippines in 1990, he was already an accomplished singer who had performed in Los Angeles, Las Vegas, and other cities in North America.

He finally found success at home with the songs “Muli” and “Lumayo Ka Man”. However, he left for Canada again in 1993 when he contracted HIV.

Besides the commemorative album, which will be released by Alpha Records this week, his sisters said a biography of Rodel is also in the works.

Source: interaksyon.com (December 3, 2012).

I am Pinoy Positive, a young man from the Philippines living with HIV. Aside from running the halls of the hospital for more than three years as an ICU nurse, I also run half-marathons in road and trail races. I was diagnosed on March 2012 just as my career in the healthcare industry was about to take off. I was set to work abroad, but HIV did not permit me to do so.

I already received my work visa to go abroad, and my departure date was set on the second week of April. However, during my medical exam on March 29, I was diagnosed positive for HIV. My remaining two weeks in the Philippines had already been planned. However, because of the diagnosis, I was left with much confusion as to what to do with my life. I wouldn't be able to work abroad, and I had already resigned from my job which I held for more than three years. HIV deprived me of a great career and a lot of other possibilities.

I was advised not to seek treatment right away because I only had the ELISA test, an HIV screening test. I had to wait for another three weeks before the results of the Western Blot test came out. I was almost certain that I was going to be positive for the confirmatory test as I thought back to my past sexual experiences, though a little part of me hoped that the initial result could have been caused by something else.

Those three weeks of waiting for the confirmatory result were one of the most agonizing periods of my life. I had difficulty sleeping at night, and I found myself crying every time I woke up. I also had suicidal ideas. At work, I had access to narcotics and other dangerous drugs. I had thought of injecting myself with large doses of narcotic analgesics and jumping off a building. That way, I would have been drowsy as I fell, and unconscious when I reached the floor. I fear pain, and I wanted a quick, painless, and sure death.

I told myself that if ever I get hospitalized, I would secretly mix my intravenous infusion with a high dose of Valium. It would induce sleep, and I'd eventually die of overdose. I have this fear of death, yet I wanted to end my life badly.

For a time, I had thought of myself as invincible. Why would I fear anything when I was sure of dying in the first place? I chose to walk home from work even if it was already in the wee hours of the morning, unmindful of possible robbers. I invited danger. I told myself, it is more of a sin to end my own life than for others to end  my life for me.

In every suicide attempt though, what kept me from doing the deed was my family. How can I ever abandon my younger brother, who even in our 20's, would still invite me to play arcade games with him in the mall just like in our younger years? And my mother who chose to be away from her family to work abroad? And for the record, she has worked for more than 30 years in the Middle East.

No one from my family and friends knows that I have HIV. But deep in my heart, I know I have already disappointed them for allowing myself to contract the disease, and I would just hurt them even more if I let HIV rule my life. I acknowledge that I made numerous mistakes in the past, but I would not allow HIV to dictate how my new life would be.

After a certain period of time, I started blogging, and created alternate accounts in twitter and facebook. I have interacted with fellow pozzies, and got inspired by how they have handled their lives, and eventually became successful, especially in their careers. They made me realize that although the journey would not be a walk in the part, it would be beautiful in the end.

In one gay social networking site, I created an account with the aim of making fellow Filipinos aware of the increasing number of HIV cases in our country. I especially encourage HIV testing, and was surprised to receive replies from people asking me where to get themselves tested. And I do get pleased when I receive messages that their results turn out non-reactive to HIV and other STIs. Recently, there were a couple who tested positive, but were still thankful for the early diagnosis. They are currently under treatment in an HIV hub.

Today, I am picking up the pieces. Slowly but surely, I know I will be in track once again. HIV is just a tiny bump in my life. My journey still continues, and life has still lots to offer. Being positive with HIV, ironically, brought a lot of positivism into my life.

This is my second article with PositiveLite.com, Canada's online HIV magazine. Visit their site by clicking HERE for valuable stories, news, and other information related to HIV and people living with it.

My second article can be accessed in their website through this LINK.

Puerto Galera

I first heard of Puerto Galera from the early 2000 indie movie, Duda (Doubt).  Some of the scenes were shot there, and from what I saw, it’s similar to the gay scene in Malate. When I transferred to Manila in 2009, I’ve been curious to go to these places.

It was Holy Week in 2011 when I finally went on a trip to Puerto Galera. I worked on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday in order to secure rest days on Saturday and Sunday. My gay friends were already there as early as Thursday, and I brought along a female friend when we went there on Saturday morning.

How to Go There

Puerto Galera, by the way, is the northwesternmost municipality in Oriental Mindoro. If you are travelling from Manila, you take a JAC Liner bus (located near Taft MRT station) that will take you to Batangas pier, which is the last stop of the bus. Travel time is around two hours, and bus fare is less than 200 pesos.

There are actually four major points of Puerto Galera: Sabang Pier, Muelle Pier, Balatero Pier, and the most popular of them all, the White Beach. Secure a ticket from any of the shipping companies there that traverse to White Beach. Travel time is around 45 minutes.

But of course, the two paragraphs above are common knowledge to the LGBT community. And a friend once told me, “Every gay man has gone, at least once, to Puerto Galera.” I disagree a bit, but then again, for sure, every gay man has heard of Puerto Galera, or heard personal accounts from their gay friends what happens in the place especially during Holy Week.

White Beach

When we arrived in White Beach, the very first thing I noticed is how thick the crowd is. I didn’t expect that the stretch of the beach is not that long, but the hotels and inns are just too many. I actually thought of it as a mini-Boracay: very popular which makes it very crowded, which in turn makes the stretch of the beach appear shorter.

There are also a lot of restaurants there. Some offer steeply-priced food while others serve budget meals. Activities that you can do there include banana boat ride, volleyball, frisbee, skim board, jet ski, island hop, or simply, people watching. My group even tried the famous Mindoro Sling together with our lunch. Hehehe!

Hot bodies abound Puerto Galera, mostly males. Hahaha! At least, all the hard work in the gym paid off for those who flaunted what they have. To which a part of me decided to hit the gym when I return to Manila (I jogged instead, but still did not achieve the Galera bodies of others. Hehehe!).

I was also surprised to pass by a kiosk which offers free HIV testing (sadly, our group did not pay attention to it). And at night, some advertisers gave away condoms.

Galera Nights

We slept mid afternoon after the late lunch since the Mindoro Sling got us a bit buzzed. We had a quick dinner immediately after we woke up, and I couldn’t understand the excitement of my companions as we head to the beach front for the night party.

Well, I finally understood it as we arrived in the beach front. The bars and restaurants had their own shows, from spectacular fire dancers to impersonators to live bands, but the crowd seemed to be united as they danced on the beach to the fusion of loud music from the bars.  Galera just explodes at night time! People party there like it’s the end of the world. They danced on top of tables, hugged and kissed openly, and chattered over Mindoro Sling. It was crazy and fun at the same time!

In Manila, bars are usually closed in observance of the Holy Week. In Puerto Galera, it’s totally different. I was feeling quite ambivalent as I have been accustomed to traditional Holy Week celebration especially back in the province, and somehow, I felt that the festivity is not quite right. But then again, times have probably indeed changed. I believe that Galera is about openness and acceptance.

Love

Just like Malate, Puerto Galera has been the venue for the LGBT community to be themselves. There are no pretensions, no masks, and no need to hide. Love is everywhere in Galera: love among friends, and those in relationships. The energy is uplifting in Galera. It gave me a sense of oneness with the crowd. The music drowned all my worries. Galera made me real.

Note: the photos from this blog entry were taken last April 2011 and September 2012.

Why blog? My dear friend Marvin, who unfortunately passed away recently, encouraged me to start my own blog as it was also his way of coping with stress and sadness that he felt after his diagnosis. Together with creating my anonymous twitter and facebook accounts, blogging seems to be an effective way of communicating with fellow HIV-positive individuals, and at the same time, help the newly-diagnosed sort the shared feelings we have with being HIV-positive. My blog is still a work in progress since I do not post entries as often as I wanted to, but I really try to provide useful information too with the hope of educating readers about HIV, especially its prevention.

Marvin was happy to inform me that he was writing for PositiveLite.com, a Canadian online HIV magazine. I was able to read his contributions there, and was impressed on how he articulated himself. He encouraged me to write for the magazine too, but I had second thoughts since I have a problem with composition.

However, several weeks ago, I read a tweet, calling for those who are interested to become guest contributors for PositiveLite.com. I tried my luck. A part of me wanted to reach out to people from other nations. Fortunately, I was invited to contribute an article. A million thanks to the wonderful people behind PositiveLite.com

For my first offering, I submitted an introduction about my personal journey with HIV.

I am Pinoy Positive, a young man from the Philippines living with HIV. Aside from running the halls of the hospital for more than three years as an ICU nurse, I also run half-marathons in road and trail races. I was diagnosed March 2012 just as my career in the healthcare industry was about to take off. I was set to work abroad, but HIV did not permit me to do so.

Here's the LINK to my story.

And it is also featured in Daily Love.

Five months after leaving Manila, I finally returned, but only for a few days. My aunt booked me a flight with her to help fetch my cousin who recently took her board exam.

A lot of things entered my mind as I was on the plane. First, I know I got the disease in Manila. Until now, I can’t pinpoint who I got the disease from. And to be truthful, yes, I engaged in random hook-ups when I was still living alone. Worse than that, I neglected to practice safe sex in some occasions.

Shortly after diagnosis, I actually tried to search in facebook and another gay social networking site the people I had sex with in the past. I wanted to know the person who might have infected me. It came to my knowledge that an ex-boyfriend died of liver abscess this January, and another one I dated died of meningitis last October 2011 (click HERE).

Coincidentally, on my second day in Manila, while riding in a train going to Ayala, a Chinese-looking guy beside the door caught my attention. I stared at him trying to recall where I met him, and he stared back. Well, his height was a giveaway; I had sex with him before. Although we did it several times, they were all protected sex. But why did I see worry in his eyes? Or maybe paranoia was just playing tricks on me. We were still staring at each other when I headed towards the door of the train. We were beside each other, catching glances, but there were no exchange of words.

Is knowing who infected me really that important? I had protected sex with him, but why worry?

Maybe some questions are better left unanswered. I'm guilty of dwelling too much in my not-so-distant past.

Surely, there’s still pain in my heart. I had a promising career in Manila, and I was two weeks short to going abroad until I was diagnosed HIV-positive before my departure date. One night of sex turned into a lifetime of regret.

Me, working as a nurse here is purely accidental. I was visiting an ex-bf in Manila when he heard from his friend that a new hospital is going to open soon, and then he encouraged me to submit my resume. And that is how the story of how I worked for more than three years in that hospital started.

Manila was my stepping stone. I built my dreams here. As my workmates started to resign and eventually landed jobs abroad, I started to solidify my qualification by passing several international exams. I was a good nurse, but not a good employee. But eventually, I attempted and successfully gained my manager’s trust and confidence. My promotion came at the time that my visa abroad also arrived. And I chose the latter. Of course, one of my dreams is to work abroad, and secondly, I want to provide a better life for my family.

But because of HIV, I lost both ---- my job abroad, and my work in Manila. I lied to my family why I wasn’t able to go abroad. I isolated myself from my friends and co-workers. I went back to my province, and made sure to have no, or at the very least, minimal contact with people I know there. Up until today, my family thinks that I went home to rest since my papers abroad is still being processed. And they like it that way knowing that work abroad can be very tiring and embracing a foreign culture is difficult.

My plan of going back to Manila in search for work is nearing. I have mixed feelings. I’m a new and changed person now. Well, mostly new point of view since I already know my limitations and the purpose of me going back. It’s much clearer to me now. I still have this fear of what awaits me there, but I hope I’d still be as motivated and dedicated as I was in my previous job. Fingers crossed. Manila, be good to me please the next time I return.

Immortal Body, Immortal Pain

Marvin: One of my beloved artworks I created. I offer it to all those who feel depressed and burdened with life. Suicide seems like a viable and only option but then, it never is. This is an artwork to express that terrible loneliness.

Immuno-compromised

I have sores all over me:

They scar my fragile surface

Like constellations

Spanning the universe

Of my feeble flesh.

I gasp and sigh.

I hear the delirious

Whispers from my thighs.

These are not moans

But the sole sounds of my bones

Breaking into mourning.

Maybe I should be glad

That something still feeds on me.

I want this love to die

But it cannot be.

It is the disease

Which runs alongside

The potent malady in my being.

Compromised I will forever be.

But with you, I find the strength

To make myself immune

Against all this insanity.

*Marvs, I may have failed to ask for your permission to post some of your works in my blog, but I'm pretty sure you'd allow me to, and you'd be delighted.

*Marvin's artwork can be found HERE, and the link of his poem can be found HERE.

More than three years ago, I chanced upon a young man on a gay social networking site, guys4men. Although normal conversation between users in that site involves sex and meet-ups, we talked more than that. He was into literature: short stories and poems. His enthusiasm in these forms of art reminded me of an ex-boyfriend, which made me like him. His name is Marvin. We sometimes chat over YM, and have exchanged friendster accounts. However, our communication halted, probably because he was busy with his studies, and I, with work. We eventually forgot about each other’s existence.

April of this year, after I was diagnosed with HIV, I stumbled upon people living with HIV in facebook and twitter. I needed help, I was in a state of panic. One of them encouraged me to make a blog, telling me it will feel better if I ventilate my feelings through writing. He shared his blog too. Upon seeing his cartoonized photo, I felt that I know the person I’m communicating with. I asked him if he is Marvin. He said yes.

His comment in my blog entry: Bits and Pieces

What a small world we have, really! Marvin and I never met in person, but in a span of several years, we met again over the Internet. Only this time, we are both HIV positive.

He is one of the very first persons who knew about my HIV status: talked with, listened to my worries, took the time to monitor my daily activities; gave me instructions on what to do; made sure that I’m alright; calmed me; cared for me.

He was diagnosed last February 2012, and his initial CD4 count was 2 (which makes him an AIDS case), yet he fought the battle well. His voice still reverberates in my ears at times, and I can still hear him calling me “Kuya” with so much enthusiasm. He told me that he is surviving at 2, and added that I’d be sure to survive better because of my early diagnosis.

We talked about online writing work, as that is what we do for a living. He was a book reviewer. I still am a marathon and real estate news writer.  He suggested a lot of other online sites where I can earn, and work is home-based at that. His eagerness to help others is just so wholehearted.

At around third week of July, he told me that he fainted while working online. I told him to tell his mother about that, and that he should go to his hub for consultation. He refused. He feared that his mom might not allow him to continue with his online work. When he fainted the second time, I learned from other twitter friends that he had himself checked by his HIV hub.

His comment in my blog entry: Somewhere over the Rainbow

And then the weird messages from Marvin came. He questioned the researched and tested data about HIV and AIDS. He told me he has found the cure. He said he was an elite controller. He said he was misdiagnosed as having HIV, and should have been diagnosed as schizophrenic. I told him that maybe he has just read a lot of books, and that he internalized what he has read. I told him that when people read about schizophrenia, for example, a person may find some schizophrenic traits within himself. But that doesn’t conclude anything unless diagnosed by a medical doctor.

That wasn’t the Marvin that I know. It was the virus talking. AIDS got him really bad, and destroyed his thoughts.

I admit that I somehow neglected Marvin. I believe that I do not have the authority to give him advice (medical or personal) as it may jeopardize his treatment. I refused to be self-righteous either. I have always encouraged him to talk to his doctor. It’s just so sad to know that in that state, others may have harshly judged him. Yes, I felt that he may have lost touch with reality, but were we therapeutic in dealing with him? He was a young man at 21, and he was helpless!

Last August 15, from twitter, where Marvin and I usually communicate to each other, I received the news that someone passed away. Then I received calls from twitter friends telling me it was Marvin.

You did not die in vain, Marvin. Your literary works will always be remembered by your friends and by our community. I will always remember your eagerness to help others through your advocacy. We may not always agree on some things, but no two minds are alike anyway. This will not be the last time I would hear about you, as more and more people will talk about you, your mission, and your advocacy.

You will always be my makulit younger viral brother.

For your reference, here are the links to his blog sites:

thesexysquid.blogspot.com

plagiophile.blogspot.com

posithive-cutie.tumbler.com

touchtalent.com/profile/1866

He was also a contributing writer to Positive Lite.com, Canada's online HIV magazine. Here are the links to his entries:

Mirvan's Story: The Uninvited Guest

Army of Two

Little Steps

Positive Lite.com's tribute article to Marvin: click HERE

The STD Project's tribute article to Marvin: click HERE
Marvin's interview with The STD Project: click HERE