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Positive Pinoy: my personal journey with HIV.

I was diagnosed last March 29, 2012 in a time that I was supposed to leave the country in a couple more weeks. I had my medical exam, and the result returned POSITIVE. From then on, my journey with HIV began.

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What's New?: gateway to useful links on local and international news and updates about HIV.

A summary collection of medical articles, research news, and science breakthroughs on HIV/AIDS, STIs, and other related diseases.

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HIV 101: Basic information for the newly-diagnosed.

Understand the basics, know the facts, and take care of yourself. This section contains basic information about HIV/AIDS.

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Social Media: going viral against HIV/AIDS and other STIs.

The entrance of social media in spreading awareness about HIV/AIDS has gone viral. Famous personalities and the common man alike showed their support not just to HIV education but also with regards to the lives and struggles of the LGBT community.

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Health Events: listing of wellness and advocacy events for HIV-positive individuals and friends.

This section contains a summary listing of knowledge-sharing events on HIV, mass HIV testing, and other wellness events that will strengthen the overall health of HIV-positive individuals.

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39) Goodbye, Ex-boyfriend



Last November 6, when I opened my facebook account, I was surprised to see a tagged picture of my ex-boyfriend with the caption, “You will be missed.” It got me curious, which lead me to opening his profile. There was a flood of messages from his friends, and I searched for answers.


Tinago nya sa family nya na may nararamdaman na pala syang sakit.
(He kept his sickness hidden from his family.)



Severe na pneumonia nya, and nagka-complications na din sa ibang internal organs nya.
(He had pneumonia, and there were complications to his other internal organs.)



Na-confine siya October 31. Magka-text pa kami November 3 pero wala syang sinasabi.
(He was confined October 31. We were texting last November 3, but he didn’t tell me he was in the hospital.)



I told him to be safe always, and to seek treatment. I don’t get it why it slipped him.


I cannot make conclusions based on the above mentioned statements. What I have are mere speculations. But being an ex-boyfriend, I’m pretty conclusive that everything that we did sexually was unsafe. That happened four years ago. Who knows, maybe he was unsafe too with his succeeding sexual partners. On my part, I was amiss with my sexual behavior as well that’s why I got HIV.


We met several times early this year. I was on night shift, and I was walking towards the hospital. He saw me, and invited me for tea before my duty. Coincidentally, our workplaces were near each other, which eventually lead to us meeting several times after. The last was March when we had dinner; a celebration as I was supposed to go abroad for work.


I was deeply saddened by his death because he is the reason why I was able to work in Manila. He visited me twice in the province before, and when it was my turn to visit him, he pitched in the idea of me working there. In fact, during that time, there was an opening in a big hospital. Unfortunately, we parted ways several months after I was employed.


Alvin (not his real name) lived a secret life. He has always considered himself simple, yet his family, grand. I have been to his place of residence, which is far from how he described it to me. It didn't matter to me. In the duration of our relationship, I have discovered the lies he made about his family. I didn't mind. If it was his way of coping with stress, crisis, and struggles, it was fine with me for as long as he does not do anything destructive towards me or other people. Most, if not all, of us have secrets, anyway.


But besides all that, he was a great friend. He was a person full of energy, enthusiasm, and ambition. He was full of life. Swear, I haven’t seen him looking sad, crying, or in despair. He was always positive about everything. He was hands-on to his friends as well. He accompanied me when I applied in the hospital. And he did similar things to his other friends too. Like me, he also dreamed of working abroad. He talked fondly of how he wanted to better the lives of his mother and brother.




Alvin is gone now. I may not have the documents to determine the real cause of his death, nor the authority to confirm anything, but one thing is certain, he passed away leaving unanswered questions to everybody. We talked about anything and everything before, but we failed to talk about HIV.


Alvin was a charming, good-looking, young man full of ambition and it’s sad to say that all that he has planned or aimed for were not fulfilled because of his early demise. I can always reason out that we were not aware of the existence of HIV in the country. We did not know that there was a rise in HIV cases back then. Condom-buying is not common, and we have that preconceived idea that all we get when buying one are dagger stares from store attendants and other store patrons. I have never heard of any campaign against HIV back then, or maybe we were just busy with a lot of other things.


One lesson that should be learned from Alvin’s death is that, HIV should be taken seriously. To all people out there, especially the youth, you will just be starting your lives after graduation. Love yourselves, protect yourselves, and fulfill your dreams by preventing the transmission of HIV. Talk about it; make others become aware of it so that safe sexual behavior is practiced. Life with HIV is a struggle, emotionally and physically, so while you are in the know, do your part and help lead others towards the safe direction.


Currently have 10 comments:

  1. Hi pinoypositive. I want to get in touch with you to share my story. Im bothered and feeling helpless right now. This is unacceptable to me. If we could talk pls. How can i contact you? Thanks - Gaara

  2. Hi Gaara! please email me at pinoypositive@gmail.com

    I hope i could help with whatever is bothering you right now. stay strong. :-)

  3. anyone from sl h4? can we be friends?

  4. i need help, i want someone to talk to about hiv ... pls txt me...09355296964 ... im joel...

  5. a friend of mine recently died of complications from "pneumonia." we were not very close but i knew enough to know that he was a very kind and gentle person. i've heard rumors about him but never really got anything confirmed. when he passed away, we were already half a world away from each other. i've asked around from other people about his death's circumstances. i can't confirm anything but all the stories point to one direction - HIV/AIDS. he comes to my dreams sometimes, smiling. i have a feeling he never told anyone what really happened. not his family, not his friends, not the people he worked with. i hope he has finally found his peace.

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  8. I don't know what's the scope of HIV infection is, in this country right now, but I feel that it has become widespread... Late last year an acquaintance died of pneumonia and tuberculosis... and as of this writing a co-worker is on life support in a hospital due to pneumonia and tuberculosis... they were very healthy individuals and in their late 20's. Suddenly, they started losing weight rapidly in just a few months and then succumbing to pneumonia and tuberculosis.... This is scary...

  9. I believe that the key to better treatment is early detection. If only people submit themselves to HIV test, they would know right away if they are positive or not.

    If negative, then at least they have that chance to be safer in their sexual practices. If positive, then they can start treatment right away in their chosen hub.


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