3) Bits and Pieces

                                                                                            

my pre-HIV pic

I created Pinoy Positive in facebook, twitter, and blogspot with the purpose of having support system as I start living as an HIV-positive individual. Since I haven’t disclosed my status to my family and close friends, I find it best to ventilate my thoughts and feelings in these social networking sites, and at the same time, get to interact with my fellow pozzies and share about our experiences. And I’m thankful for all the heads up, encouragement, and care.

It has only been one week, but I have “cybermet” several pozzies already. It’s also helpful to read their blogs as well. There’s one from the same province where I live, so we basically share information about our hub, the census in our province, etc. He has been living with HIV for more than two years, AND still without ARVs (galling, di ba?). And there’s another one I have known three years ago. Small world we are in, really.

I have been melodramatic in my blog entries, and others that have read asked for my background. There are several others from twitter who asked as well.

So here are bits and pieces of me…

• I watch Friends, Sex and the City, Coupling, Queer as Folk, and Desperate Housewives over and over and over again (No life, di ba?).
• I was supposed to take Med. Tech. as a pre-med course, but my older brother took Med. Tech. so I thought of settling with Biology. Almost all the courses in UP are quota courses, so when I passed their Psychology program, I decided to pursue with it instead.
• I was a member of a fraternity and a theater group back in college (an early battle between my masculine and not-so-masculine side. Hehehe!).
• I have three siblings: two brothers and a sister. I have four older stepbrothers, and two younger stepbrothers (masyadong masipag father namin. Hehehe!).
• I love travelling around the country. Whenever I have travel plans, I would work six days straight, travel for three days, then back to work again. There were also times that I go straight to the airport after my night duty, spend two days in the province, then fly back to Manila just in time for another night duty (patayan!).
• Standing at 5’9, there was a time when I weighed more than 200lbs. I got into gym and a diet program, my lightest was 150+. But now, since I’m still a little bit depressed, my weight went up (haha! Bwisit!).
• I dabbled into running to lose weight. I started with 5km on my first try. Before my 2^nd year, the farthest I’ve ran is 32km. I have participated in trail runs in Rizal (Merrel), and Tagaytay (Xterra).
• Because of group buying sites, I got to eat buffet in several different restaurants/hotels. Hence, the weight gain. 

And for some serious stuff…

• An ex-partner died January this year because of liver abscess. I easily thought he had Hepa B so I had myself checked; negative! But right now that I’m positive for HIV, I suspect that I might have gotten the virus from him.
• Being a nurse or any healthcare staff does not guarantee compliance to safe sex.
• Co-workers claim that I never looked sick. The past year when I had fever of 39 degrees, I went to the hospital’s clinic and had my check up (I suspected dengue, but turned out negative). I passed by our unit to file my two-day sick leave, my co-workers jokingly said, I was just playing sick.
• The longest period that I was absent from work is 7 days: sore eyes!
• So after discovering that I have HIV, I oftentimes look at myself in the mirror and furiously ask, “Is this the face of HIV? Is this the face of someone sick?” I had no symptoms back then. Now I have swollen lymph nodes (pero hindi naman din kse visible on the outside).
• I had excision biopsy of lymph nodes mid-May because my family fears that I may have cancer. Histopathology result is not yet released (inefficiency of the hospital; it has been more than two weeks as of this writing; they promised 7-10 working days).

No love is ever worth the risk of acquiring the virus. If you love each other, wear protection. If you love each other even more, get tested!