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Positive Pinoy: my personal journey with HIV.

I was diagnosed last March 29, 2012 in a time that I was supposed to leave the country in a couple more weeks. I had my medical exam, and the result returned POSITIVE. From then on, my journey with HIV began.

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What's New?: gateway to useful links on local and international news and updates about HIV.

A summary collection of medical articles, research news, and science breakthroughs on HIV/AIDS, STIs, and other related diseases.

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HIV 101: Basic information for the newly-diagnosed.

Understand the basics, know the facts, and take care of yourself. This section contains basic information about HIV/AIDS.

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Social Media: going viral against HIV/AIDS and other STIs.

The entrance of social media in spreading awareness about HIV/AIDS has gone viral. Famous personalities and the common man alike showed their support not just to HIV education but also with regards to the lives and struggles of the LGBT community.

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Health Events: listing of wellness and advocacy events for HIV-positive individuals and friends.

This section contains a summary listing of knowledge-sharing events on HIV, mass HIV testing, and other wellness events that will strengthen the overall health of HIV-positive individuals.

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19) Goodbye, Viral Brother


More than three years ago, I chanced upon a young man on a gay social networking site, guys4men. Although normal conversation between users in that site involves sex and meet-ups, we talked more than that. He was into literature: short stories and poems. His enthusiasm in these forms of art reminded me of an ex-boyfriend, which made me like him. His name is Marvin. We sometimes chat over YM, and have exchanged friendster accounts. However, our communication halted, probably because he was busy with his studies, and I, with work. We eventually forgot about each other’s existence.

April of this year, after I was diagnosed with HIV, I stumbled upon people living with HIV in facebook and twitter. I needed help, I was in a state of panic. One of them encouraged me to make a blog, telling me it will feel better if I ventilate my feelings through writing. He shared his blog too. Upon seeing his cartoonized photo, I felt that I know the person I’m communicating with. I asked him if he is Marvin. He said yes.


His comment in my blog entry: Bits and Pieces


What a small world we have, really! Marvin and I never met in person, but in a span of several years, we met again over the Internet. Only this time, we are both HIV positive.

He is one of the very first persons who knew about my HIV status: talked with, listened to my worries, took the time to monitor my daily activities; gave me instructions on what to do; made sure that I’m alright; calmed me; cared for me.

He was diagnosed last February 2012, and his initial CD4 count was 2 (which makes him an AIDS case), yet he fought the battle well. His voice still reverberates in my ears at times, and I can still hear him calling me “Kuya” with so much enthusiasm. He told me that he is surviving at 2, and added that I’d be sure to survive better because of my early diagnosis.

We talked about online writing work, as that is what we do for a living. He was a book reviewer. I still am a marathon and real estate news writer.  He suggested a lot of other online sites where I can earn, and work is home-based at that. His eagerness to help others is just so wholehearted.

At around third week of July, he told me that he fainted while working online. I told him to tell his mother about that, and that he should go to his hub for consultation. He refused. He feared that his mom might not allow him to continue with his online work. When he fainted the second time, I learned from other twitter friends that he had himself checked by his HIV hub.


His comment in my blog entry: Somewhere over the Rainbow


And then the weird messages from Marvin came. He questioned the researched and tested data about HIV and AIDS. He told me he has found the cure. He said he was an elite controller. He said he was misdiagnosed as having HIV, and should have been diagnosed as schizophrenic. I told him that maybe he has just read a lot of books, and that he internalized what he has read. I told him that when people read about schizophrenia, for example, a person may find some schizophrenic traits within himself. But that doesn’t conclude anything unless diagnosed by a medical doctor.

That wasn’t the Marvin that I know. It was the virus talking. AIDS got him really bad, and destroyed his thoughts.

I admit that I somehow neglected Marvin. I believe that I do not have the authority to give him advice (medical or personal) as it may jeopardize his treatment. I refused to be self-righteous either. I have always encouraged him to talk to his doctor. It’s just so sad to know that in that state, others may have harshly judged him. Yes, I felt that he may have lost touch with reality, but were we therapeutic in dealing with him? He was a young man at 21, and he was helpless!

Last August 15, from twitter, where Marvin and I usually communicate to each other, I received the news that someone passed away. Then I received calls from twitter friends telling me it was Marvin.

You did not die in vain, Marvin. Your literary works will always be remembered by your friends and by our community. I will always remember your eagerness to help others through your advocacy. We may not always agree on some things, but no two minds are alike anyway. This will not be the last time I would hear about you, as more and more people will talk about you, your mission, and your advocacy.

You will always be my makulit younger viral brother.


For your reference, here are the links to his blog sites:

He was also a contributing writer to Positive Lite.com, Canada's online HIV magazine. Here are the links to his entries:

Positive Lite.com's tribute article to Marvin: click HERE
The STD Project's tribute article to Marvin: click HERE
Marvin's interview with The STD Project: click HERE


Currently have 18 comments:

  1. a very nice article @PinoyPositive

  2. thanks so much. It's my little way of thanking Marvs for the good things he has done for me.
    :-)

  3. Nakakainspire magbasa ng blog mo. God Bless

    - Amir

  4. Hi Amir! Thanks. God bless you too, and keep safe always. :-)

  5. thank you for so much hope and inspiration. through your blogs i feel i am not alone and i can do so much more. just recently i was diagnosed of being possie. theres just a lot on my mind that everyday's a struggle, more of psychologically. -possieSteve

  6. Hi possieSteve,

    Thanks for seeing my blog that way, I sincerely appreciate your comment.

    How are you right now? How's your treatment going?

    I wish you the best, and keep the faith. :-)

  7. hope to meet fellow guys around. wink!

  8. Ei, just want you to know that im so thankful for your blogs.. i pray that you're always good.. i find ur blogs interesting.. i just felt sad on this story. kaya yan! keep trusting..

  9. Salamat po for the kind words. Still struggling, pero with the support of people around me, and my faith in Him, I know kaya ko 'to. :-)

  10. I've experienced the same thing with Marvin.
    But I din't anticipated the worst.

    RIP - Thanks for being good to me.

    Greetings,
    Cinamon+

  11. Thanks for writing and creating this blog. I too is positive since 2011 initial count was 5. I got hospitalised twice, but here I am still surviving and I know with HIS help and my determination to live that I can still live longer for as long as I can. Hope to meet fellow POZ people or find a support group having the same condition.... poz0711@gmail.com





  12. i have been diagonise with HIV for 10yrs i was using drug to supress it not on till this great man help my friend worldtreatmentforhiv@yahoo.com i contacted him and he said i should go back for test in the next 8hrs when i went and the result came out i was hiv free. am just short of words to thank this great man but his email is worldtreatmentforhiv@yahoo.com and mine is clintonsonia@gmail.com incase you want to comfirm. for those of you with hiv and aids i want you to contact him and he will help you i promise

  13. Inspiring, Creative, Intelligent. He will never be forgotten.

  14. Natawa lang ako dun sa mga testimonials kunwari pero obvious na mga scam. O mga friends huwag niyo basta basta papatulan yang mga cure-cure comments na naka-post dito ha?

    Anyways going back to the blog. In my case, early diagnosis was the key why I am still surviving. It was probably providential (I still sometimes think I am agnostic but maybe not) that I donated blood that day.

    It kinda shattered my life. But I was able to rebuild it fast.

    Anyone can rebuild his life.

    BTW, I also have friends who have died from this dreadful disease. It was so sad that I didn't get to help them survive it. They were too scared or adamant to ask for help. It was just too late when they were already in their deathbed and all they could do was resign themselves to their fate.

    To all newly-diagnosed HIV+ Filipinos please do not think that life ends when you are diagnosed with HIV. It actually ends when you give up on life.

  15. recently i was diagnosed as POSITIVE, and had scheduled next week to check for my CD4 count, a lot of things comes in my mind and i dont know how could i help my self up. my 1st problem is how will i tell my mom about this, 2nd is im worried about my partner we had our test done at the same time he had his result negative, but we are worried if aftre several months would be the result same? i doubt. so know im worried of how he will react on it if it came, he's the sweetest and my best man, im wishing that the results would stil be negative forever, he had gone so much with his family and i dont want to increase the burden that he's feeling... now i just dont know how will start and how will act on my partner when that time comes..

  16. https://www.blogger.com/template-editor.g?blogID=3745222063474156068- i just wanna share my story im also the same person who ask the question above

  17. There's nothing wrong with having HIV!!! Why would you want to suggest a specific HIV dating site? People with HIV can date people without herpes!!! No disrespect but in my opinion this sort of specifics only promotes discrimination and alienation as a result!!... Just another way of exploiting someone else's lack of confidence really . Hiv Positive Dating Sites suggest you the Best HIV positive dating sites of 2017, you can go along with them by considering their activity, privacy , policies and safety features.


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